Swine flu. Run for my life!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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