I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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