i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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