well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
