Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
