would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
