I puked a lego.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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