felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
