I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
