that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
