I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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