Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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