Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
