Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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