bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
