im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
