Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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