i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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