you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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