She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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