was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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