her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
