gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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