There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
