Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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