How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
