so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
