She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
