3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
