There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
