How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
