This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
