Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
