I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
