Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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