i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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