She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
