just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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