Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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