the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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