You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
