Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
