some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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