i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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