she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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