singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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