think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
