i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You are a genius and a whore.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
