is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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