chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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